The hardest lesson I ever had to learn

What do you value most? Your job, your car, your house. Maybe your values go much deeper, you would say your family, your kids, your health, your spouse. Those things are good and it would only seem right to place a high value on them, but we would be wrong in doing so. For years I placed great value in my wife and my relationship with her. I pretty much worshiped her, held her up on a peddle stool in my eyes. I remember I used to tell her that if she snapped at me in the morning I was crushed and useless for the rest of the day. It was true and I thought it was a good thing that I placed so much importance on her. I found my identity in her, my self worth (value), because I valued her so much. Do you know what I’m talking about? Of course you do.

What if you lost what you valued most? Would it destroy you, crush you? It almost did for me, until I learned the hardest truth I ever had to face. The values that I had were all misplaced. My marriage, it would be gone one day, in death at the very least. My kids, on loan from God entrusted into my care. My house, my car, my money, my job, my time…it is all His from the beginning. I simply had to admit that truth to myself. It isn’t mine, it is all His.

My identity was misplaced as well because of my flawed value system. Bluntly honest, I found my worth in her, in my job, in being a father, a friend etc. Because of this I was in bondage to this identity and value system. When things fell apart Satan exploited it to cause me great pain and agony. To keep me in fear and panic, to spend a lot of time asking “what if” questions regarding the past, present and future. When something threatened my “values” my world came crashing down and I couldn’t even function sometimes, the pain and anxiety was paralyzing. Can you relate?

So what changed? Beginning to understand that it all truly belongs to the Lord and that my value, self worth and identity should come from Him alone. Again, in all honesty, that was a bitter pill to swallow at first, but it soon became the most liberating fact of my life outside of salvation. As I rebuilt my identity squarely on my life in Christ, creating a value system solidly on valuing the things of God’s heart, on pleasing Him and living in His will for my life; Satan suddenly lost all power over me. His strongholds in me were torn down and the chains that weighed me down were broken and stripped away!

Now I have a new identity in Christ, He is my value and I have much value in Him. So as the storms rage around me I do not fear, I do not fret. There is no pain or anxiety and there is no sorrow; only joy and peace. I worship Him alone, to Him all my praise and adoration is given.

My wife may never come home, but I will rejoice in the Lord still. More calamities may come my way, but they will not injure me or cause me to stumble. “There is no fear in (His) love. But perfect love drives out fear...” 1 John 4:18 Please don’t misunderstand me. I love my wife dearly, more than she will ever understand. I would love nothing more than for her to come home, but it does not define me, the marriage is not what I live for anymore, it is not my purpose.

Satan can no longer exploit those values for pain because the value is not there to be exploited. Also, I’m not saying they are of no value, but in comparison to His glory, they are mere shrinking shadows of what they were previously.

This also allows us to live out 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 with greater ease and clarity. If our value was perfectly in Him alone then it would be impossible to threaten our values, which means that jealousy, envy, pride, selfishness, etc. could not exist. Take a look for yourself: “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love never fails.” For example, if we value His love instead of the love from others, what is there to be demanding of?

Like I said, the hardest lesson I ever had to learn, but also the most liberating and instantaneous in its effects on me. This is the freedom we have in Jesus Christ. I fully believe this is the beginning of understanding that has the potential to free you from all kinds of grief and medication.  It will also make for better relationships, better marriages and release us to live the way we were designed to live.

So what is it that you value? Where is your identity found? Is any of it misplaced, holding you back from an abundant life?

Here’s to freedom!
Brian

Today’s song

This may throw some of you completely off, but I think it is interesting how secular music has some great worship lyrics sometimes. They just miss out on who the object of our praise, worship, adoration and affection should go to. Here is a perfect example.



Halo by Beyonce

Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again