Friday, October 1, 2010

One and the Same

Our stories were one and the same. We talked after class each week because our stories were so similar and she would ask me about things like making the transition from private school to public.  Mostly we talked about God, continually it seemed.  His provision, grace, compassion and love for us.  
I gave her a copy of my latest read, “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan knowing where her heart was and how much she would drink in the depth of the book’s message.  She was quickly becoming my best friend, I “agape” (friendship) loved her dearly already. I even wrote her an inscription on the book.  “Loree, My sister in Christ whom I dearly love.  Having grasped the depths of God’s love to be endless and now residing in a place where it permeates the very fabric of life, enjoy the ride!  I hope this book builds in you more than just a love for the written word.  May it give you a thirst to know all His ways revealed through the Spirit and penned on the pages of many books in service to Christ. Love in Him, Brian”  (permission to post inscription from Loree :)
She devoured the book in no time flat, which is amazing in of itself, because she doesn’t claim to be a reader.  I received a phone call from her mid week because we weren’t hanging out yet at this point so all of our long conversations took place after Sunday school and we had only recently swapped numbers and began texting encouraging messages to each other.  This one phone conversation moved her from being a good friend to confidant and comrade in arms for God.  It went something like this, “Brian, I finished the book.  It was great!  I feel like I’ve gone crazy though.  I think people will think I’m crazy.  You know I love people, always have and I care for them deeply.  But now I really LOVE people.  I feel like I want to sell my house and everything and just love God and love people.  Am I crazy?  Do you think I’m crazy?”  Wow! 
I was smiling ear to ear.  Here was a friend who has gone through the fire, just as I have and she understands the full measure of His love.  “Welcome to the party Loree!  I believe this is truly the abundant life God speaks about for us.”  In that moment we knew we shared something very special in spirit.  Somewhere along the way in our friendship she even verbalized this truth.  “I feel like my spirit is drawn toward yours.” I heartily agreed!!!
One of my fondest memories early in our friendship is when I invited her and her kids and another family to join me making pottery with the boys.  We all had such a great time painting then we went to McDonald’s down the road for ice cream.  It was that evening, while watching her gather all the kids around her on the concrete outside of McD’s to play “bear hunt,” that I got a first glimpse of what a wonderful mother she is.  The kids all come alive around her because she has such a joyful and fun filled heart.  I remember thinking to myself even then, “Wow, she’s great...just gets right in there! What a woman!” 

(more to come)

Monday, September 20, 2010

In the Beginning

From my perspective, it’s the love story of a lifetime; unexpected, overwhelming, amazing.  It’s a story about rising from the ashes of brokenness, of surrendering everything to God, then amazing blessings.  It’s hard to put into words a timely and descriptive account that does justice to the Author of it all.  Really, it’s two love stories intertwined.  God’s abundant redemptive love for us.  A love that fills us up and makes us whole.  It’s also a love that overflows from our own lives; spills over and becomes shared with others...and in this story, especially between two people.
It’s in a moment of full surrender and contentment that His best work is done.  “Lord, if it’s just you, me and the kids the rest of my’s blessings all the way!”  Sincere words spoken from my heart that I would soon hear echoed from a new friend.  This is where a new chapter, a new story begins.
God had put on my heart, at that time, to teach a Bible study class on a Beth Moore book of all things.  What guy does that?  More importantly, what person ignores God’s leading...only a fool.  Well, I didn’t want to be a fool, even if I might have looked silly teaching from material that had been branded for a “women’s study,”  but also it’s me...since when did I care?  I think God made me just a little bit quirky and with a touch of rebel.  Thank goodness because it led to a series of events only God could have orchestrated.
I went to talk to the minister in charge of Bible studies about teaching the class.  It had been years since I last taught and I was out of the loop.  As I pulled up to the church I had an overwhelming sensation that, for some reason, I would be discouraged to teach this material in a Sunday school setting....interesting, but silly.  It gets more bizarre though.  The thought that kept coming to mind was, “tell him this is from Me, God, and if you offer the class, the right people will show up.”  Ok, so I’m having some kind of a movie moment here, “if you build it they will come”.  Sounds familiar, but I’m not used to having God drop a message on me in this manner.  Perhaps it’s just my wild imagination!
Once in the his office, I spent a fair amount of time explaining how I came to the place where teaching a Beth Moore study in Sunday School was what I was prepared to do. “I’m not sure this is the right setting for you” I was told. It was said in a helpful sincere tone, but seriously? I really couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  Could this really be playing out?  All I could do was smile and kind of chuckle.  Then I realized that wasn’t the appropriate response for what was being communicated to me, especially with the perplexed look on his face. So I did the only reasonable thing I could think of to do at this point.  I passed along the message from God.  
 “Who am I to mess with the leading of the Holy Spirit” he responds.  Huh, what do you know?!  With that, the class began.
Those who showed up for the study know as well as I do that God literally brought us together.  It was inspiring to see how God was moving through our little class and just down the road from my church was another church where a wonderful lady was looking for a Bible study to attend.  Through the social grapevine she heard about the class, didn’t have a clue who was teaching or what it was about, only that she should give it a try.  She showed up for class one Sunday morning and it was the beginning of what would become a truly amazing friendship.
(Next entry) Our stories were one and the same...

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Living for the Moment

I’m drained today.  Hours at the pool, in the sun, with the kids pulling on me....I’m spent.  It gets worse.  Problems arise. Issues develop.  It’s coming from all perceivable sides and I’m just physically tired to top it off.  It’s one of those days, ripe for Satan to start beating me down spiritually.  

Thoughts of inadequacy take shape, failure.  I begin to only hope in some future tomorrow.  “It will all get better after I get this done, then that.”  I’ll get back on track AFTER I put out these current fires.  Maybe even a deadline is assigned...two, three months from’ll be different.  It’s the same feeling we get when we’re trying to get into gear after the pain of any spiritual, mental or physical crisis.  Someday it will be better.  Someday we’ll know God’s will for our lives and we will get moving in that direction. Until then, we’re in neutral, or putting out fires and dealing with daily life issues at best.  There’s always something, isn’t there?

“Forget about His will for your life!”  I read this chapter heading in Francis Chan’s new book, “Forgotten God” and I thought maybe Francis had lost his marbles!  Then he explains,

How many times have you heard someone say, “I just wish I knew God’s will for my life?”  I know I’ve longed for this before.  But now I see it as a misguided way of thinking and talking.  There are very few people in the Scriptures who received their life plan from God in advance (or even their five-year plan, for that matter!)  
Francis uses the example of Abraham who was told by God to pack up and start walking.  He didn’t know ANY details.  How long, where to, would there be a benefits package, etc.  God said to go, he went.  Francis points out that we need to stop waiting on God to show us the whole picture and instead respond to the Holy Spirit’s leading today, in this moment. He says, “It is easy to use the phrase ‘God’s will for my life’ as an excuse for inaction or even disobedience.  It’s much less demanding to think about God’s will for your future than it is to ask Him what He wants you to do in the next ten minutes.  It’s safer to commit to following Him someday instead of this day.”

So true, isn’t it?  Satan can debilitate us from living fully for God today by simply making us think of a future day and keeping us busy with issues or in waiting on “plans to be revealed.”  What we really need to remember, what I need to remember, is that the Holy Spirit lives in me NOW, wants to work in me and through me NOW.  

There will always be fires and the next thing to keep me at bay.  What really needs to be done in some moments is, as Paul said, “I resolved to know nothing except Christ and Him crucified.” 1 Cor 2:2   Suddenly my day just changed :) Thank you Lord!

Today's Song - Blink by Revive
Teach me to number my days
And count every moment before it slips away
Taking all the colors before they fade to gray
I don’t want to miss even just a second more of this
It happens in a blink
It happens in a flash
It happens in the time it takes to look back
I try to hold on tight, but there’s no stopping time
What is it I’ve done with my life
It happens in a blink
When it’s all said and done
No one remembers how far we have run
The only thing that matters is how we have loved
I don’t want to miss even just a second more of this
Slow down, slow down
Before today becomes our yesterday
Slow down, slow down
Before you turn around and it’s too late

Monday, June 14, 2010

Purity - What does it mean and why is it important?

I bought a purity ring last week to mark a new beginning; another season in life.  A constant reminder of how God calls us to live.  Then it spurred me to write again after having spent some time in silence. So here we are, once again...

A search for common definitions on purity from several places yields these results:
freedom from contaminants: the absence, or degree of absence, of anything harmful, inferior, unwanted, or of a different type
innocence, virtue, clarity
Freedom from sin or guilt; innocence; chastity: "Teach your children . . . the belief in purity of body, mind and soul"
purity of heart or of life.
Freedom from any sinister or improper motives or views.
The theme being purity brings freedom for the body, mind and soul.  Freedom from guilt, sin, harmful things, even improper motives or views.  It has been a subject resonating with me for some time now; a challenge at times.  In the physical sense there is the obvious...I’ve been 14 months now roughly without my spouse by my side.  If you would have asked me 15 months ago if it was a possible task to take on, foregoing the physical for so long...I would have said you’re crazy! :)  I would have dubbed myself the least likely candidate for that job (as well as most other men I’m sure.)
I’m not saying it’s been a breeze or I haven’t had to face temptations, BUT there is something amazing in abstinence and purity.  For starters, it puts the focus all on God and off of self. (Perhaps we’ll elaborate on this another time)  Equally important areas in purity are of the mind and soul.  When we strive towards purity in all areas of our lives (even though we may stumble at times) the resulting freedom is priceless.  Our accuser can’t hold anything over us.  When we are selfless in our motives and actions it becomes difficult for Satan to make us question ourselves so we can stand firmly on the rock. “Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” 2 Tim 2:22
What would it be like to daily ask God to reveal our hidden motives and expose our hearts openly before the Lord? “...He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts...” 1 Cor 4:5 We have to be willing to accept and change our thought process and our actions to be in line with His will for our lives...even when it’s inconvenient for us.  After all, if God is convicting us, isn’t it because He loves us and wants what is best for our lives?
Besides, the alternative is willingly giving Satan a foothold in our lives to create guilt, shame, helplessness, low self esteem, timidity, etc.  “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7  Satan can tear us down and incapacitate our lives.  Perhaps this one area has been holding you back from the abundant life God has for you. 
Don’t buy into the lies anymore, you know the ones that liar tells you (and I know the ones he tells me.)  If it feels good... OR ...many other Christians are ok with (fill in the blank)...’s not a sin if I only take it “this” far...OR... music and movies don’t affect me...
...let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.” 2 Corinthians 7:1
Whatever it is that contaminates and the lies we buy know.  Choose purity, walk it out with God, set apart.  In the world, but not of the world, right?!! :)
Jesus is very fond of you and so am I,

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Who do you live for?

How are our lives different because of Christ?  We believe in His sacrifice, in His goodness and grace.  What does it require of us, anything short of our very lives?  Do the deeds of our heart outwardly show this level of devotion and thankfulness?  If we are no longer slaves to sin, but were purchased at such a high price to be slaves to righteousness then shouldn’t it move us to give up ourselves.
Jesus said that to gain our lives, our freedom in Christ, we must loose it.  Freely give up our “rights” of serving our own emotions and fleshly desire.  Give it away, give it all away!!!  If we try to hold on to our lives, we WILL loose it.  Let go of justice, let go of hate, let go of anger, let go of hurt, let go of the idea that we can not overcome or forgive certain sin, let go of the belief that matters are in our own hands.  They are not, believe...have faith and believe.  Believe that He parts seas, that He calms storms, that He heals the sick, He raises the dead to life, makes the blind to see and the unclean clean.  He heals the broken heart, returns the prodigal, brings the proud to their knees, brings hope to the hopeless.  Believe, truly believe.
We say we believe, but the truth is not in our words but in our deeds.  For out of the heart comes the actions of men.  If we are full of the Spirit, then it will bear fruit in the form of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control.  If our actions are full of anger, bitterness, jealousy, hate, judgment, etc.  Then our actions testify against us as to what is in our hearts.
In our self assessment, what is our spiritual food?  Are we getting any?  How much time do we devote to God, getting to know Him better, serving with heavenly purpose.  Is He our Sunday activity or is He truly our “all in all.”  Our actions speak the truth.  The hours of the day are for Him or they are not.  
Don’t tell me you’ve done your time.  Really?  Is that what you’re going to tell Jesus when you give an account for your life to the one who gave His very life for you?  Is this the view you have of the sacrifice He made, that it only deserves a portion of your life?  How lukewarm will we be before He spits us out of his mouth, before we stand before the throne and He says, “depart from me, for I never knew you.”
“Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter.  On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’  But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’ Matthew 7:21-23
Are we doing His will?  Is our life bearing the fruit of the Spirit?  What comes out of our hearts and is manifested through our actions and emotions?  Only those who do the will of the father...will enter. Is it enough to claim Jesus as savior with our words, but deny Him with our hearts?  You decide and live accordingly. 

Monday, March 8, 2010

Get out of that Pit - Chapter 1

Get Out of that Pit - Our online study...Cliffs notes style.
(Feel free to add on)
Chapter 1: Life in the Pit
Book Excerpt
Life can be excruciating.  Crushing, in fact. The sheer magnitude of our worries can press down on our heads until we unknowingly descend into a pit of despair one inch at a time.  Something so horrible can happen that we conclude we’ll never be okay again.  We can blow it so badly we think God would just as soon we stayed under that dirt and out of His sight.  But, if we’re willing to let truth speak louder than our feelings, and long enough that our feelings finally agree, we can be far more than okay.  We can be delivered to a place where the air is crisp, the enemy is whipped, and the view is magnificent.
The Bible teaches that there are no lost causes.  (did you hear that, NONE) No permanent pit-dwellers except those who refuse to leave.  Every person can know the complete redemption of Jesus Christ, purpose for life, and fullness of joy.  No, life won’t ever be easy but the trade-off is a spin around Planet Earth that actually means something.
I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
 and he turned to me and heard my cry.
 He lifted me out of the pit of despair...
  ...Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
  They will put their trust in the Lord. Psalm 40:1,3
Too often we don’t recognize a pit when we’re in one or we only think of it in terms of sin, so it doesn’t apply, but that’s not the case.
You’re in a pit when...
You feel stuck, trapped.  The only option is to misbehave, act out (i.e., have a kicking and screaming fit, hoping your flailing can help you escape) or submit (i.e., consider you made your own bed and decide to die in it.)
The first option is coping through life. It feels like a rut or going nowhere, stuck.  So we DO stuff to try to change our environment, be someone other than who we are or sink ourselves in activity or mindlessness to escape... all in the hopes of having excitement and fun, but more importantly to NOT feel the pit we are in.  You name it, it’s been tried by the multitudes.  Drinking, partying, being a workaholic, live an alternative life, turning a hobby into an obsession, watching loads of tv or movies...we could go on.
The second option, choose to accept the feeling of being trapped and stuck, become hopeless and resigned to the lie that this is as good as life gets because of some past choices or things that have happened to you.  You grow numb and cold.
Either way, they are the lies we buy into and we feel stuck in the pit.
You see and recognize what is right
      but refuse to act on it.
   You hear with your ears,
      but you don’t really listen.
  Because he is righteous,
  the Lord has exalted his glorious law.
 But his own people have been robbed and plundered,
  enslaved, imprisoned, and trapped.
  They are fair game for anyone
  and have no one to protect them,
  no one to take them back home.
 Who will hear these lessons from the past
  and see the ruin that awaits you in the future?
Isaiah 42:20-23
You can’t stand up because you feel ineffective and utterly powerless against attack. Can’t stand up to assaults, trials, or temptations because your feet are in the mud and more.  You make an effort, but constantly feel like your losing ground, losing the fight.  It’s overwhelming and you feel flatly defeated at times. 
To the ancient Hebrew, a pit was a literal or figurative reference to the it’s like being the living dead.  Satan digs the pit in hopes he can bury you alive and keep you there. You become a rather ineffective person in life and relationships. Satan can’t make you stay nor will God make you leave.
 Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire;
 I can’t find a foothold.
Psalm 69:2

Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Ephesians 6:13
You’ve lost vision and you’re impaired by the darkness.  Can’t see the obvious,  become stiff necked, to focused on our sinking feet. We can’t see out, so we turn our sights in.  Nearsightedness breeds hopelessness.  Dim vision ages us rapidly and we lose our childlikeness.  We can be young and yet feel old. Heavy laden. Burdened. In a pit where vision is lost and dreams are foolishness.  We don’t have a sense or understanding of meaning and purpose for our life.
Beth refers to the final book in the Narnia story, The Last Battle, where Susan , who in the first book witnessed the death and resurrection of the godlike lion Aslan, looked back on her times in Narnia as “funny games we used to play as children.”  Susan ultimately came to the conclusion that the heavenly land of her childhood experience was nothing more than a childish fantasy because she was a “jolly sight to keep on being grownup.”
Excerpt 2
Through the pages to come, some of you will recognize your pits.  For most of you awareness won’t come because you suddenly see how bad you are, but rather because you will wake up to how bored you are.  The lack of light and fresh air has lulled some of us to sleep.  Getting out begins with waking up.  And (this may be the hardest part) with being willing to feel again. In Psalm 40:2 David exclaimed,
He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
 out of the mud and the mire.
 He set my feet on solid ground
  and steadied me as I walked along. 
According to Psalm 27:6, high upon that very rock “my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me.”  See what Satan has to lose when you get out of your pit?  Not only are wonder, hope and vision natural when our feet are set upon a rock, but so is our vantage point from which we can see the enemy’s activity around us.  (Incidentally, there’s no one on earth Satan would rather see in a pit than someone with godly vision.  Just ask Joseph.)
Are you bored with life?  Is life exhausting for you?  Does it seem like your just doing stuff to avoid the pit feeling?  Are you in a pit presently?
We’re going to talk more about the ways we get into pits and the ways we can get out in the coming weeks.

Monday, February 22, 2010

As we think... we are

Proverbs 23:7 “So as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”
Ephesians 4:22-24 “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by it’s deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”  
So as we think... is what we become.  Where do we spend our time thinking and what do we want to become?  Break down a day. 
How much time is given to...
  • worry
  • selfish desire (Getting new stuff, making ourselves happy, etc.)
  • making more money (to serve God or serve self)
  • watching tv (of good moral character or lustful, self serving characters glamorized)
  • reading (of good moral character or lustful, self serving characters glamorized)
  • relationships (building one another up and holding accountable or in gossip and promoting self interest)
  • listening to music (full of hope and encouragement or sad, depressive and angry)
  • anger, bitterness, jealously, resentment, hate, hopelessness, etc.
What do we want to become...
  • lustful
  • self serving
  • discontent with life as it is
  • a worry wort
  • sad, depressive, hopeless
  • angry, bitter, jealous, etc.
  • loving
  • full of joy
  • content
  • fulfilled, full of purpose & hope
Should we be surprised when we struggle with these issues?  We could probably pin a lot of it down to how and where we spend our time. When I'm struggling,  a lot of the time it is my own choices that put me there.  Have you ever sat around and listened to sad depressing music all day and thought, " I am just so happy today!"  Nope, we become sad and depressive.   As we choose to spend our time and attention on different activities that fill our mind with thought and persuasion; what is it leading us towards becoming?

Simple, yet profound thoughts to chew on,

P.S. We'll start the Beth Moore study in a couple weeks.  I will be teaching with it as a Sunday school class so I thought it would be best to do them at the same time!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Help for Haitian children needed immedately!

There are 300 children from Haiti coming to Indianapolis right now.  They need families to take them in, medical professionals to help them, volunteers and donations.  Here is the letter I sent out.  The blog link for contact info is at the bottom.  If you can help or forward this to someone who can that would be great.

Dear Clients and Friends,
My business manager, Wendi Hull's, daughter works for a group that is planning on taking in 300 haitan children immediately in Indianapolis.  They need medical attention before they can go to homes such as screening for ring worms.  They need doctors, lots of them. Some will probably need some urgent dental care.   If any of my clients, residents or current docs, can assist I would consider it a HUGE personal favor!  If you know other docs or residents willing to help, please forward this immediately.  We don't have much time.  Please read the email  below and check out the blog OR contact me directly and I will connect you to be plugged in.  If you were wondering what you can do to help, how you can make a difference...its right in front of you now.  Let's move!


Live a legacy.
Legacy Practice Management
201 N. Illinois St. 16th Floor, South Tower
Indianapolis, IN 46204
317.610.3248 w
317.652.8411 c

Hello family & friends,

I am going to make this short.  As some of you know my daughter Stephanie Hull works for a non-profit organization called Safe Families in Indianapolis.  They help place children not in foster care, but similar situations for shorter time periods.

All of us have heard of the devastation in Haiti by the magnitude 7 earthquake last week.  Yesterday they suffered a 6.1 magnitude aftershock earthquake.  53 children from a Haitian orphanage arrived in Pittsburgh yesterday and were placed there.

That was some background, now what is requested.  Judge Payne from Marion county contacted Krista Davis, director of Safe Families Indy, at 8:30 PM last night asking assistance in placing 300 children from Haiti here, very soon.  There are many needs, but mainly prayer.  Overnight, several commitments for taking in the children have been met.  At this time, I request your prayer for this need to be met and that you direct your attention and comments to this blog.  Please read the blog before making calls or sending emails as it is difficult for Safe Families to respond to all feedback right now.

Thank you for your prayers,
Steve Hull

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Ever feel like you're in an inescapable pit?

In the deepest parts of us, below the surface, no matter how hard our exterior shell is...those layers of armor and toughness to protect ourselves; we all want to be known and loved.  We don’t spend much time, if at all, talking about our deepest fears, our pains, our sorrows, or even our dreams, our desire for love and acceptance.  Perhaps we think it shows weakness, more likely we’ve been hurt and we don’t want to risk it again.  The people we love failed us, let us down, injured us, jaded our view of life.

Now you’re left empty and afraid; feeling lonely.  You may even be surrounded by people, friends, family...but there is a disconnect.  They don’t even know how bad it hurts.  They don’t know about the internal discontentment with life, the stirring in your soul for something more, something meaningful...they wouldn’t understand if you tried to tell them, at least you think.  So you smile and go along for the ride, but you’re slowly dying inside.

The love you seek is not what you think it is.  It’s not romance or even friendship; it is intimacy.  For your innermost self to be known by another; a deep relationship. To be accepted as you are and loved in spite of yourself; unconditionally.  Is there such a thing...does it exist?  We desperately want it to, what a relief that would be. 

However, the days roll on and the aching continues and grows.  It becomes unbearable at times and leaves your numb inside.  You’re just going through the motions.  There are moments when you just want to feel something, anything.  It doesn’t matter.  You feel trapped in your circumstances, tied down by the weight of what feels like a meager existence or perhaps the feeling that it will never get any better than what you have now.  You are desperate to break out, but from what?  You don’t really know. It’s a living nightmare in some ways; empty, empty, empty.  

You feel exhausted from just thinking about it.  Time to crawl into bed and escape into a dream.  Perhaps it’s worse, escape takes the shape of a bottle, a pill, a warm body...anything for some temporary relief.  Some short term pleasure, a fleeting moment of happiness, a distraction or even just forgetting about it for a short while - we cope.  If only that were enough, but it’s not. Matter of fact, it somehow makes it worse.  The void, the emptiness, gets bigger so we cling to our choice for coping even more.  We spend more time with it, increase the frequently...but it only intensifies our thirst for relief even further. Our coping mechanism might even be considered healthy by any standard, but it’s purpose and effect are the same.  It is a vicious cycle we can’t seem to break.  Something has to give.

In the mix of all of this we begin to feel a sense of worthlessness, insecurity...if we weren’t feeling that way already.  We become super sensitive to the words others use to define us.  Anything that sounds negative cuts like a knife inside of us.  We may not show it on the surface, we fight like mad to cover it up, but we hurt desperately.  Somehow it almost feels like we are unloved, even if others tell us differently.  We may even feel unlovable, flawed somehow...broken, unfixable.

Some days we don’t even think we deserve to be rescued from this mess or that it’s not possible.  Others we could practically cry out to be saved, please, at any cost!  Who do we cry out to, who can help us?  We’re seems hopeless.  Pointless to even try perhaps.

Every day our thoughts destroy us a little more, our perception of life as we see it.  We value our life, we value our family and our friendships.  We have expectations for the way these relationships should be.  Either what we have created in our own minds or perhaps what has been created for us on a tv show or movie.  There is this ideal picture; if we could only have that!  Everything would ok.  Instead, they seem hollow or superficial, disjointed, forced, painful...I don’t know.  They consume a lot of energy just to maintain and they are full of injury.  Over and over you’ve been burned, cast aside, made to feel insignificant, belittled, controlled, abused...and here we are again; worthless.

“Why can’t I find or change the circumstances, the person or people to make it all better?  To find relief and comfort” you ask yourself.  It feels like your running away, but from what and where to?  You don’t know, but the sensation won’t go away. So the question becomes, have you had enough? Are you ready to give up?  The hard truth is we’ve tried just about everything haven’t we...nothing is working.  Why? Because we are doing life our way and failing miserably at it.

You may have tried religion or spirituality.  Maybe you worked hard at being a good person and living an honest life.  You could have gone the route of living for the moment and doing whatever makes you happy and brings you pleasure.  Perhaps you are a Christian doing all the things Christians do; going to church, participating in Bible study, serving in ministry at the church.  Yet, with all these different ways of doing life...these feelings still plague you.

I have wrestled for a couple weeks now with this post sitting unfinished of how to bring the answers.  How can I boil down the solutions to one blog post, making it applicable?  Oh, believe me there is a way out, I know because I’ve been there too!  You don’t have to stay in this place any longer and the alternative is simply beautiful!

Beth Moore describes this sensation as being stuck in a mirky, muddy pit, being unable to escape.  That’s one good way of putting it.  As a matter of fact, I would like to explore the situation from this viewpoint as Beth writes about it in her book, “Get Out of That Pit.”  I propose you join me in an online study of the book over the next 10 weeks.  What  do you have to loose?

Go buy a copy at a Christian book store or order it online.  If you are not a Christian, don’t freak out on me!  I’m not asking you to join a religion...we gonna talk about this problem specifically and talk about relationship.  If you are a Christian, don’t freak out on me!  If you resonated with this entry then you don’t have it all figured out...good news, neither do I!  You’re in good company.  We’ll work on it together.  Also, I realize Beth Moore has been “branded” as women’s studies...get over it!  Send me a facebook message, email or blog comment if you might join me.  We’ll start in a week, so get to it!