Get out of that Pit - Chapter 1

Get Out of that Pit - Our online study...Cliffs notes style.

(Feel free to add on)

Chapter 1: Life in the Pit

Book Excerpt

Life can be excruciating.  Crushing, in fact. The sheer magnitude of our worries can press down on our heads until we unknowingly descend into a pit of despair one inch at a time.  Something so horrible can happen that we conclude we’ll never be okay again.  We can blow it so badly we think God would just as soon we stayed under that dirt and out of His sight.  But, if we’re willing to let truth speak louder than our feelings, and long enough that our feelings finally agree, we can be far more than okay.  We can be delivered to a place where the air is crisp, the enemy is whipped, and the view is magnificent.

The Bible teaches that there are no lost causes.  (did you hear that, NONE) No permanent pit-dwellers except those who refuse to leave.  Every person can know the complete redemption of Jesus Christ, purpose for life, and fullness of joy.  No, life won’t ever be easy but the trade-off is a spin around Planet Earth that actually means something.

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,

 and he turned to me and heard my cry.

 He lifted me out of the pit of despair...

  ...Many will see what he has done and be amazed.

  They will put their trust in the Lord. Psalm 40:1,3

Too often we don’t recognize a pit when we’re in one or we only think of it in terms of sin, so it doesn’t apply, but that’s not the case.

You’re in a pit when...

You feel stuck, trapped.  The only option is to misbehave, act out (i.e., have a kicking and screaming fit, hoping your flailing can help you escape) or submit (i.e., consider you made your own bed and decide to die in it.)

The first option is coping through life. It feels like a rut or going nowhere, stuck.  So we DO stuff to try to change our environment, be someone other than who we are or sink ourselves in activity or mindlessness to escape... all in the hopes of having excitement and fun, but more importantly to NOT feel the pit we are in.  You name it, it’s been tried by the multitudes.  Drinking, partying, being a workaholic, live an alternative life, turning a hobby into an obsession, watching loads of tv or movies...we could go on.

The second option, choose to accept the feeling of being trapped and stuck, become hopeless and resigned to the lie that this is as good as life gets because of some past choices or things that have happened to you.  You grow numb and cold.

Either way, they are the lies we buy into and we feel stuck in the pit.

You see and recognize what is right
      but refuse to act on it.
   You hear with your ears,
      but you don’t really listen.

  Because he is righteous,
  the Lord has exalted his glorious law.
 But his own people have been robbed and plundered,
  enslaved, imprisoned, and trapped.
  They are fair game for anyone
  and have no one to protect them,
  no one to take them back home.

 Who will hear these lessons from the past
  and see the ruin that awaits you in the future? Isaiah 42:20-23

You can’t stand up because you feel ineffective and utterly powerless against attack. Can’t stand up to assaults, trials, or temptations because your feet are in the mud and more.  You make an effort, but constantly feel like your losing ground, losing the fight.  It’s overwhelming and you feel flatly defeated at times. 

To the ancient Hebrew, a pit was a literal or figurative reference to the grave...so it’s like being the living dead.  Satan digs the pit in hopes he can bury you alive and keep you there. You become a rather ineffective person in life and relationships. Satan can’t make you stay nor will God make you leave.

 Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire;
 I can’t find a foothold. Psalm 69:2

Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Ephesians 6:13

You’ve lost vision and you’re impaired by the darkness.  Can’t see the obvious,  become stiff necked, to focused on our sinking feet. We can’t see out, so we turn our sights in.  Nearsightedness breeds hopelessness.  Dim vision ages us rapidly and we lose our childlikeness.  We can be young and yet feel old. Heavy laden. Burdened. In a pit where vision is lost and dreams are foolishness.  We don’t have a sense or understanding of meaning and purpose for our life.

Beth refers to the final book in the Narnia story, The Last Battle, where Susan , who in the first book witnessed the death and resurrection of the godlike lion Aslan, looked back on her times in Narnia as “funny games we used to play as children.”  Susan ultimately came to the conclusion that the heavenly land of her childhood experience was nothing more than a childish fantasy because she was a “jolly sight to keep on being grownup.”

Excerpt 2

Through the pages to come, some of you will recognize your pits.  For most of you awareness won’t come because you suddenly see how bad you are, but rather because you will wake up to how bored you are.  The lack of light and fresh air has lulled some of us to sleep.  Getting out begins with waking up.  And (this may be the hardest part) with being willing to feel again. In Psalm 40:2 David exclaimed,

He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
 out of the mud and the mire.
 He set my feet on solid ground
  and steadied me as I walked along. 

According to Psalm 27:6, high upon that very rock “my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me.”  See what Satan has to lose when you get out of your pit?  Not only are wonder, hope and vision natural when our feet are set upon a rock, but so is our vantage point from which we can see the enemy’s activity around us.  (Incidentally, there’s no one on earth Satan would rather see in a pit than someone with godly vision.  Just ask Joseph.)

Are you bored with life?  Is life exhausting for you?  Does it seem like your just doing stuff to avoid the pit feeling?  Are you in a pit presently?

We’re going to talk more about the ways we get into pits and the ways we can get out in the coming weeks.

Ever feel like you're in an inescapable pit?

In the deepest parts of us, below the surface, no matter how hard our exterior shell is...those layers of armor and toughness to protect ourselves; we all want to be known and loved.  We don’t spend much time, if at all, talking about our deepest fears, our pains, our sorrows, or even our dreams, our desire for love and acceptance.  Perhaps we think it shows weakness, more likely we’ve been hurt and we don’t want to risk it again.  The people we love failed us, let us down, injured us, jaded our view of life.

Now you’re left empty and afraid; feeling lonely.  You may even be surrounded by people, friends, family...but there is a disconnect.  They don’t even know how bad it hurts.  They don’t know about the internal discontentment with life, the stirring in your soul for something more, something meaningful...they wouldn’t understand if you tried to tell them, at least you think.  So you smile and go along for the ride, but you’re slowly dying inside.

The love you seek is not what you think it is.  It’s not romance or even friendship; it is intimacy.  For your innermost self to be known by another; a deep relationship. To be accepted as you are and loved in spite of yourself; unconditionally.  Is there such a thing...does it exist?  We desperately want it to, what a relief that would be. 

However, the days roll on and the aching continues and grows.  It becomes unbearable at times and leaves your numb inside.  You’re just going through the motions.  There are moments when you just want to feel something, anything.  It doesn’t matter.  You feel trapped in your circumstances, tied down by the weight of what feels like a meager existence or perhaps the feeling that it will never get any better than what you have now.  You are desperate to break out, but from what?  You don’t really know. It’s a living nightmare in some ways; empty, empty, empty.  

You feel exhausted from just thinking about it.  Time to crawl into bed and escape into a dream.  Perhaps it’s worse, escape takes the shape of a bottle, a pill, a warm body...anything for some temporary relief.  Some short term pleasure, a fleeting moment of happiness, a distraction or even just forgetting about it for a short while - we cope.  If only that were enough, but it’s not. Matter of fact, it somehow makes it worse.  The void, the emptiness, gets bigger so we cling to our choice for coping even more.  We spend more time with it, increase the frequently...but it only intensifies our thirst for relief even further. Our coping mechanism might even be considered healthy by any standard, but it’s purpose and effect are the same.  It is a vicious cycle we can’t seem to break.  Something has to give.

In the mix of all of this we begin to feel a sense of worthlessness, insecurity...if we weren’t feeling that way already.  We become super sensitive to the words others use to define us.  Anything that sounds negative cuts like a knife inside of us.  We may not show it on the surface, we fight like mad to cover it up, but we hurt desperately.  Somehow it almost feels like we are unloved, even if others tell us differently.  We may even feel unlovable, flawed somehow...broken, unfixable.

Some days we don’t even think we deserve to be rescued from this mess or that it’s not possible.  Others we could practically cry out to be saved, please, at any cost!  Who do we cry out to, who can help us?  We’re frustrated...it seems hopeless.  Pointless to even try perhaps.

Every day our thoughts destroy us a little more, our perception of life as we see it.  We value our life, we value our family and our friendships.  We have expectations for the way these relationships should be.  Either what we have created in our own minds or perhaps what has been created for us on a tv show or movie.  There is this ideal picture; if we could only have that!  Everything would ok.  Instead, they seem hollow or superficial, disjointed, forced, painful...I don’t know.  They consume a lot of energy just to maintain and they are full of injury.  Over and over you’ve been burned, cast aside, made to feel insignificant, belittled, controlled, abused...and here we are again; worthless.

“Why can’t I find or change the circumstances, the person or people to make it all better?  To find relief and comfort” you ask yourself.  It feels like your running away, but from what and where to?  You don’t know, but the sensation won’t go away. So the question becomes, have you had enough? Are you ready to give up?  The hard truth is we’ve tried just about everything haven’t we...nothing is working.  Why? Because we are doing life our way and failing miserably at it.

You may have tried religion or spirituality.  Maybe you worked hard at being a good person and living an honest life.  You could have gone the route of living for the moment and doing whatever makes you happy and brings you pleasure.  Perhaps you are a Christian doing all the things Christians do; going to church, participating in Bible study, serving in ministry at the church.  Yet, with all these different ways of doing life...these feelings still plague you.

I have wrestled for a couple weeks now with this post sitting unfinished of how to bring the answers.  How can I boil down the solutions to one blog post, making it applicable?  Oh, believe me there is a way out, I know because I’ve been there too!  You don’t have to stay in this place any longer and the alternative is simply beautiful!

Beth Moore describes this sensation as being stuck in a mirky, muddy pit, being unable to escape.  That’s one good way of putting it.  As a matter of fact, I would like to explore the situation from this viewpoint as Beth writes about it in her book, “Get Out of That Pit.”  I propose you join me in an online study of the book over the next 10 weeks.  What  do you have to loose?

Go buy a copy at a Christian book store or order it online.  If you are not a Christian, don’t freak out on me!  I’m not asking you to join a religion...we gonna talk about this problem specifically and talk about relationship.  If you are a Christian, don’t freak out on me!  If you resonated with this entry then you don’t have it all figured out...good news, neither do I!  You’re in good company.  We’ll work on it together.  Also, I realize Beth Moore has been “branded” as women’s studies...get over it!  Send me a facebook message, email or blog comment if you might join me.  We’ll start in a week, so get to it!

Oh my selfish ways!

Three weeks ago I wrote this entry and for three weeks it sat.  Why? At first I wasn’t sure, but I know why. It hits too close to home.  I have written on many subjects, the things God has shared with me through His word and counsel. When I wrote this one, I tried to write it with immunity from its implications, as if it was no longer an issue for me.  The truth is, I am not as strong as I think I am.  I am still weak.  I still fail.  I still sin, I struggle. I need Jesus more than ever.

If you ever had the notion through my entries that I have risen above the rest, been enlightened, or “have arrived”...that would be ridiculous. I’m still nothing. I am a mess as a matter of fact and Know also that I am still a selfish man, fighting against myself daily.  It looks like this, what Brian wants vs. what God wants.  It’s one thing to be shown the truth, it’s another to live it out fully isn’t it?  I just pray for the strength, fortitude and faith to willingly choose God’s way over my own.  Sometimes it is much harder to do in reality than on paper.    I sin with my thoughts, I sin with my choices.  My flesh betrays me.  Being bluntly honest, some days I don’t even have much desire to put up a fight.  Heaven help me on those days!

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The opposite of Love- Love of Self

Last entry we visited the subject of love, the unconditional love of God being shown to others.  In this way we love and worship God, we give Him our lives.  So what is the opposite of living in this fashion... the love of self.  What does that look like?  Well, we’d like to believe that it is something that only OTHER people do, but if we search deeper and take an honest look at our lives and our hearts…we may not like what we see. (If you haven’t read the last entry, read it first please)

There is a big difference between struggling with temptation; fighting against the desire of our flesh and just giving in to the temptation and doing whatever it is we desire. When we do life our way, meeting our own selfish desires…we show that we love this world and what Satan has to offer us, not God.

“Stop loving this evil world and all that it offers you, for when you love these things you show that you do not really love God; for all these worldly things, these evil desires--the lust for physical pleasure, the ambition to buy everything that appeals to you, and the pride that comes from wealth and importance--these are not from God. They are from this evil world itself.”

 (1 John 2:15-16)

The Warning

Are we in danger of becoming one of those people who act religious, but in reality we reject the Spirit in our lives? We reject Jesus. If we don’t evaluate our lives it might be easy to simply think that we are just fine, when in reality we are acting like the very person described in 2nd Timothy 3:2-7.  “People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—  They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that! They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth.”

The action we should take

So I urge you, as outcasts in this world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.  Live such good lives among those who are not Christians that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God when He returns. We are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. If you don’t believe that, then you are already deceived and defeated.

1Peter 2:11-12

Eph. 6:12-13

We are told in the Bible that our old life is dead, it is a former life. We have a new life in Christ, we should act like it. “And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That's a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It's because of this kind of thing that God is about to explode in anger. It wasn't long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it's all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk.”  Colossians 3:5-8 (The Message)

When we are weak, He is strong. We must remember that Jesus went before us, showing us the way to live.  “Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!” Hebrews 12:2-3 (The Message)

The result of our poor choice

We have free will and with it comes the responsibility to CHOOSE His way because the troubling part is if we deliberately continue to sin...we trample on the cross.  We make light of the sacrifice Jesus made for us. “Dear friends, if we deliberately continue sinning after we have received knowledge of the truth, there is no longer any sacrifice that will cover these sins. There is only the terrible expectation of God’s judgment and the raging fire that will consume his enemies. For anyone who refused to obey the law of Moses was put to death without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. Just think how much worse the punishment will be for those who have trampled on the Son of God, and have treated the blood of the covenant, which made us holy, as if it were common and unholy, and have insulted and disdained the Holy Spirit who brings God’s mercy to us.” Hebrews 10:26-29 (New Living Translation)

The Way

“Then He said to all, Anyone who wants to follow me must put aside his own desires and conveniences and carry his cross with him every day and keep close to Me!” (Luke 9:23 TLB) He made it pretty clear what NOT to do.  It is also pretty clear what we should do. The final verdict: Put away self and live for Him.  In this way we are truly free.  In this way we find the abundant life!

Easier said than done, I know.  I’ve witnessed some amazing things over the past few months...oh the stories I could tell. Even then, after seeing His greatness and glory, reading the Bible accounts from the eyes of witnesses...I still struggle with self.  I think of Peter, who got out of the boat to walk on the water with Jesus.  Where were the other disciples...in the boat.  Did they not see his miraculous ways too?  Watching Jesus heal the blind, feed thousands with a few loaves of bread, raise the dead!  Yet they too struggled to have faith; to follow Him.  But let us not be complacent to give in to ourselves and to Satan.  May we fight with all that is in us to live for Him! To get out of the boat and walk on the water.


Today's song- We are not as strong as we think we are - Rich Mullins
(I posted a youtube video of the song below for you.)



Well, it took the hand of God Almighty
To part the waters of the sea
But it only took one little lie
To separate you and me
Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are
And they say that one day Joshua
Made the sun stand still in the sky
But I can't even keep these thoughts
Of you from passing by
Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are
CHORUS
We are frail
We are fearfully and wonderfully made
Forged in the fires of human passion
Choking on the fumes of selfish rage
And with these our hells and our heavens
So few inches apart
We must be awfully small
And not as strong as we think we are
And the Master said their faith was
Gonna make them mountains move
But me, I tremble like a hill on a fault line
Just at the thought of how I lost you
Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are
CHORUS
And if you make me laugh well I know
I could make you like me
Cause when I laugh I can be a lot of fun
But we can't do that I know that it is frightening
What I don't know is why we can't hold on
We can't hold on
CHORUS
When you love you walk on the water
Just don't stumble on the waves
We all want to go there somethin' awful
But to stand there it takes some grace
'Cause oh, we are not as strong
As we think we are

Feel like you're climbing an impossible mountain at times?

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me -watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30 The Message

How many times have you wanted to give up on something? Sometimes it seems the mountain is too high, the task too big, the trouble to great. There is too much history against you. A mounting pile of “evidence and logic” that speaks against your deep heart felt convictions. You know what is right, what is Holy, but it feels hopeless. Other times it even feels impossible, as if there is a great opposition against you. The world and all the people in it tell you that it can’t be done; the statistics are not in your favor. You know what I mean, you’ve been there. What do you do in those times?

When faced with problems, conflict or difficulty we have the urge to cower in fear, to throw up our hands in surrender. Sometimes we seek to build our own consensus of people to side with us; which only leaves us feeling justified perhaps, but very angry and frustrated. So we may talk about it all the time, at an obsessive level…still no resolution. Maybe we just try to forget about it, ignore it…guess what, it keeps coming back. Triggered by words, a song, a picture; it’s fresh again isn’t it? Like a wound that won’t go away; especially if what we’re dealing with includes physical and/or emotional injury.

These options eventually make us bitter, resentful, defeated people. We might strike out and attack in our pride, in our hurt, in our anger or in our bitterness. What becomes of this…more injury…more retaliation. Not resolution and far removed from our original intent that was good, that was righteous, full of grace and mercy; Holy. So how then, how do we proceed? Is there a way to overcome, to climb the mountain, resolve the conflict, make the impossible possible? “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 This is the beginning of finding resolution, the first building block. Gently confronting the issue is the only way.

Choose to persevere, stand alone if we must. “…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.” Romans 5:3-5 Did you catch that? Perseverance causes a chain reaction that leads to HOPE! Who would have thought? And what… hope does not disappoint us!

Yes, we will stand alone at times “as aliens and strangers in the world” (1 Peter 2:11) but we are not truly alone as we face the mountain before us. Go back to Matthew 11:28-30 and get away with Jesus. Rest in Him, walk with Him and learn the unforced rhythms of grace. Keep company with Him and we’ll learn to live freely and lightly.

Believe.
"…with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
“…everything is possible for him who believes.” Mark 9:23
“I can do all things through Christ who give me strength” Philippians 4:13

Do we really, really believe or is it just a warm fuzzy thought? Something to put on the wall that sounds too good to be true. Believe in Him, believe in His promises. Keep them in our hearts. Stand up and climb the mountain with Him at our side.

Have I oversimplified the picture or could it possibly be this simple? Maybe not easy, requires a lot of work…giving up seems a heck of a lot easier. To just give in to the crowd, go quietly in the night. Allow our emotions and passions to rule over us. To become numb inside as we cower in our circumstance. I say no! What are we made of? I’ll tell you what…we’re made by a loving creator, in His image with His Spirit living in us! Stand for what is right and good, what is in the best interest of others instead of self.
Persevere. Hope. Believe.

Please read the lyrics today or listen to the song. Let's stop doubting and listening to the lies. Believe…fully.

Jimmy Needham - Dearly Loved

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3IdRkylxaI


Please lay down your arrows
For they're sure to pierce the skin
And water from a broken well
Will make you thirst again
When all things you've acquired
Are tested by the flames
And you can see them melting
Then will you call his name

It's worth it brothers
It's worth it friends
To know your maker
To lose your sin

Did you know that you are dearly loved

To the slaughter you are being led
Being told that it's a party
That this God is in your head
And every single lie
Sounds just like the greatest truth
But the one truth you're not hearing
Is that he died for you

No greater joy
No greater peace
No greater love than this

It's worth it brothers
It's worth it friends
To know your maker
To lose your sin

Did you know that you are dearly loved

Can people change?

What a controversial question. Can people really change? I’ve talked with many that seem to think that real lasting change is just not possible. “People are who they are” or “you can’t change their nature” or “it’s just the way they are and always will be.” Have you heard this before? I understand where the statements come from; it is the voice of experience.

“If you only knew my ex-husband, you’d understand. He’s been this way his whole life. That’s not going to change. Oh he’s made efforts over the years, but he always goes back to center. He may even find someone to make him truly happy, it just won’t be me.” I personally know a lot of people that either believe this line of thought wholeheartedly or they fit into the camp that is being spoken about.

I also know of several people who defy this logic to the highest degree. A certain despised tax collector named Matthew who was probably living quite high on the hog from his job in biblical days. Another is named Paul; he persecuted Christians with great fervor and pride at one time. Then suddenly these men came face to face with Jesus. At that moment they were different, changed men from then on. You can read about their accounts in the Bible, they became two of Jesus’ closest friends, disciples who spread the message of Christ and ultimately gave their lives for the very cause they once stood against and tried to stamp out.

I also personally know of couples who lived sinful selfish destructive lives. One such couple, a wife was sleeping around while the husband was drinking himself into a stupor on a regular basis. Another couple was heading quickly into oblivion together for a time getting drunk on a regular basis, and then it turned into affairs etc. A third couple were both thought to be solid in their faith until the husband allowed sin to slowly creep into his heart and his growing lust for the “greener grass” that would surely make him happy overtook him. Neither of them saw it coming, nor did he recognize that his heart was hardening. It was too late.

I have encountered numerous couples who all share a similar story line. I believe God put them in my path to encourage me and open my eyes to the truth. Every single one of those couples has been redeemed from the pit of despair, sometimes neither one even wanting to work it out! All of them said they believed change wasn’t possible at one point. Then there was a moment for each of them, they came face to face with Jesus. He transformed their hearts and healed their marriages when the world around them said it just wasn’t possible. They now sing in chorus that they have twice the marriage as before!

If we don’t believe change is possible, we don’t leave room for God’s grace and mercy, his unfailing love. You say, “But they are already Christians! Wouldn’t they have changed already?” I have been a Christian since I was young, I knew I was saved and going to heaven. I even felt like I was a good Christian, doing good deeds, going on mission trips, etc. Let me tell you something though, for as good as I thought I was, perhaps even book smart in the Bible, I was “sucking up the field” in reality. (Pardon the crass language.) There are those who have faith in Christ who are saved. They live BECAUSE of him; they have the promise of eternal life. There is also discipleship. They live FOR him; they have all of his promises written on their hearts and take him up on them.

The truth is I was a becauser…I wasn’t the husband I was called to be, I thought I was a good guy with a good heart doing good things for good reasons. I wasn’t the father I was called to be, I thought I was a fairly involved dad who deeply loved his children. I wasn’t the leader I was called to be, my ego would have told you otherwise. I wasn’t even the friend I was called to be, although I would have given you the shirt off my back.

No, it wasn’t until this storm hit and I came face to face with a living God who held on tight to me. It wasn’t until I was willing to step out of the proverbial boat in the middle of my personal storm to meet Jesus walking on the water, to keep him in my focus so I wouldn’t sink; only then did I begin to transform into the man he called me to be. To die of self daily and live for him; all those words he spoke in the Bible began to come alive in my heart. I am my own best example of people being able to change. So you can challenge me on this one if you want, but the proof is in the changed lives that I have come into contact with, one of them stares at me in the mirror every day.

In Christ we can be husbands that desire to be servant leaders, having our spouse’s best interest at heart in every decision. We can create a warm and safe environment for our wives to flourish and help develop their walk with God, together as one. In Christ we can truly understand how to cherish our children who are on loan from God. We can raise them in the fruits of the Spirit and draw them closer to God as well. In Christ we can put our ego aside and our own ambitions and ask God what his will is for our lives, in ministry and work. In Christ we can reach out to strangers, call them our neighbor and love them as Christ loves us.

People can change, just not on their own accord. They need to come face to face with Jesus and be willing to follow him instead of just using him as a life vest for salvation. This is the path to an abundant life, amazing, full of joy and contentment. “I pray that you…may have power…to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.” Ephesians 3:17-18 (NIV) He wants it for all of us. He’s waiting for us to take him up on the offer.

Jesus is very fond of you and so am I,
Brian


Today's song: Among The Thirsty - I'd Need A Savior
The video isn't great, but you can hear the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE5bza6rIrs

How many names can I use to explain the love of my Jesus,
the life that he gave and so many times will I praise you today.
I lift up my life ‘cause you’re always the same
And my offering to you I bring

Chorus:
Your name is Jesus. Your name is Jesus.
You’re the Wonderful, Counselor, my Friend.
You’re what I hold on to; I know that you brought me through
All the days of loss, to the cross you knew
I’d need a Savior.

How many songs can I sing to proclaim your wondrous love and beauty so great?
What would I say if you brought down the rain and everyday
I walk through the pain my heart would still say…

(Chorus)

You’re what I hold on to; I know that you brought me through
All the days of loss, to the cross you knew
I’d need a Savior.
I’d need a Savior
I need you, Savior

Just for you

I am aware there are people reading this blog who are in a similar situation to my own and there will be more who will come. Your spouse has left or perhaps you are the one who left. You feel lost and confused, hurt deeply and you don’t know how to go on or what is to come. This entry is for you. There is hope. Some of you who have found your way here are hurting from some other injury or trial in your life. There is peace, comfort, forgiveness and rest for you.

God wants to take you on a journey to draw you close to him. This is my experience. You can see it in my words, start at the beginning. It was all about me and my troubles. Somewhere along the road God transformed my heart and made it all about him. You may not even understand this from where you sit now, but he can and will bring you to this place as well, if you let him. This is a place of overwhelming peace and joy regardless of the storm. I hope I may be able to help guide you in some way, to encourage you, to be a resource. Let’s start by getting you on solid ground.

You have a decision to make. Will you choose to love (or continue to love) or will you not? This decision, I believe, is paramount to your future. Yes, the Bible says there are a few exceptions when divorce is acceptable, but Jesus had something to say about that. In Mark chapter 10 the Pharisees where testing Jesus and said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.” Jesus replied, “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote this law, but at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

Then we could refer to 1st Corinthians chapter 13 on how we are to love (a passage I cling to daily.) I recommend reading the whole chapter, but verse seven sums it up nicely. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. The choice is yours to make, but I think it’s pretty clear the path that God honors.

Dear friend I am presuming one thing first, that you know Jesus as your savior. If you do not, this is where you start. You must desire a relationship with him; make him the Lord of your life. After that, we are working to deepen our relationship with him and understand his truth. Many will claim to know his name; few will have him written on their hearts.

Now you must decide to commune with him. Spend time in his word, in prayer and in worship. This is an area that I am now painfully aware that I was lacking in for a long time. You have today, the past is the past and God tells us not to worry about tomorrow. Pick up your bible, it may seem silly at first, but pick it up daily. Perhaps even multiple times a day; make relationship with him your top concern over all else. If you are already familiar with the gospel accounts of Jesus I highly recommend you start with the book of James in the New Testament and keep working your way forward. If not start with Matthew, come to know your savior for who he is.

Next, stay in his will, follow his direction; stay pure. When you are in darkness, you can not also be in the light at the same time. If you are struggling to draw close to him, ask yourself where you are selfish in your life, where you willingly sin and continue to. Stop and turn from the sin, repent of it, ask for forgiveness. You will find further help on this subject in another entry of this blog as you read through it.

Find ways to keep your focus on him throughout your day. I find and listen to a lot of Christian music all day to be in constant worship and keep his message and truth close to my heart. I not only read the Bible, but I read several other books on marriage, separation, divorce, love and other subject that help me to understand how God wants me to live. I will post my favorite reads at the bottom of this post for your reference.

Be careful and mindful of what you let into your heart through your eyes and ears. What you take in becomes you over time. For me that meant turning away from certain movies that I wanted to watch or some secular music that did not have a wholesome message. That may seem over the top to you now, but you will find this to be another truth directly from the Bible. You can choose your way with all of its self serving purposes or you can choose the way to an abundant life that Jesus laid out for us. You see, he ALWAYS has our best interest at heart. The Bible is not meant to weigh us down it brings about true freedom!

Pray, talk with God constantly. Tell him your thoughts, hurts, feelings, fears…cry out to him and ask of him what you need. He understands completely and wants healing for you to a level that you can’t even comprehend at the moment. If you seek, you will find him. He loves you more than you can ever imagine. You are his precious creation. Let him repair you from what may seem to be a shattered life and make you whole again.

Finally, there will be many opinions and people who offer you advice. Most of them will be full of anger behind their words, full of revenge or judgement. If you choose love, you will stand alone at times. It is not a popular path, not even an accepted path by many I am sorry to say. So in the midst of your storm you will also face great adversity from the naysayers who may even have good intentions. You must persevere!

Rely on his strength to get you through and not your own. Listen to his voice and shut out those that would extinguish your hope. Seek out those who will support you whole heartedly in your cause. Do not give up and try to see the bigger picture! Live out 1st Corinthians 13 with everything in you and everything from the Lord! I hope the words that were written on this blog bring you encouragement and understanding.

My heart aches with you, yet I rejoice for what he has in store for you!
Jesus is very fond of you and so am I,
Brian

Favorite Christian Music Groups
Hillsong (lots and lots of Hillsong!)
Mercy Me
Casting Crowns
Chris Tomlin
(Most of the songs that speak to my heart are posted after a blog entry)

Non-fiction Books
Hope for the Separated – Dr. Gary Chapman (my favorite)
How to Save Your Marriage Alone – Ed Wheat (short read and VERY useful)
Yes, Your Marriage Can Be Saved – Joe & Michelle Williams
From Anger to Intimacy – Dr. Gary Smalley
I Do, Again – Cheryl & Jeff Scruggs (incredible true story)
The Love Dare – Kendrick
The Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman
Brave Hearts – Sharon Hersh

Fiction books with great spiritual messages
The Shack – WM. Paul Young (One of my favorites of all times, a MUST read)
The Ultimate Gift – Jim Stovall
The Ultimate Life – Jim Stovall
Showdown – Ted Dekker
The Saint- Ted Dekker

Movies
Joshua
Amazing Grace
End of the Spear

God's incredible economy

God weaves such a wonderful tapestry in our lives. Our lives intersect and meet in ways that can only be described as divine appointments. We don’t always recognize them for what they are. Have you ever thought about the impact you have on another life through a simple gesture or word of encouragement? Have you ever stopped to consider how grand God’s economy is? How his love and truth impacts a life and is then spread through that person to another and on and on. How big is the ripple? How far reaching are its effects? Even from a ten thousand foot view I doubt we would see the full scope. The impact of God’s touch as it spreads across one life to many in a sea of faces; individual lives in need of help, healing from hurt.

When that still small voice speaks to you, it asks you to reach out a hand, step out in faith, to be there for someone else; to be selfless in the moment…what will you do? Allow yourself to flash through the grandeur of what God may be asking you to set into motion. Planting a seed that you may never see as fruitful this side of heaven is one possibility. You may, however, see a wellspring of new life burst forth in vibrant color that saturates the very life that needed it most and spill over into the lives of others. What will you do the next time you feel that gentle nudging, prodding you to do something as simple as offering a smile or fantastic as calling you to do the seemingly impossible? What will you do?

Father God, we don’t understand your ways, they are not our ways. We see a glimpse of your glory, your majesty, your sovereignty. You breathe life into us and sustain us. What Satan intends for ill you use for your good. Your will is done; the sun, moon and stars are at your command. May we be so humble and blessed as to be vessels to carry out your will, to shine your light through us, to spread your love through word and deed.
Amen

What if a trial is allowed in our lives to bring stronger faith and healing not to one person, but to many? Wouldn’t that be just like God! To bring about His purpose in an immeasurable number of ways through one common thread...that is His awesome economy of scale. Wouldn’t that be an interesting way of approaching it? It wouldn’t be about you at all would it? It’s not really about your problem, your difficulty, your struggle. It’s all about Him. What does He want to accomplish? How can you be an instrument of faith in this time, an instrument of healing for others by the understanding that comes through trial? What would that mean for your life? What would that look like? A greater purpose than your own…wouldn’t that be just like….Jesus.

Scripture Reference
2 Corinthians 4:16-18