Just for you

I am aware there are people reading this blog who are in a similar situation to my own and there will be more who will come. Your spouse has left or perhaps you are the one who left. You feel lost and confused, hurt deeply and you don’t know how to go on or what is to come. This entry is for you. There is hope. Some of you who have found your way here are hurting from some other injury or trial in your life. There is peace, comfort, forgiveness and rest for you.

God wants to take you on a journey to draw you close to him. This is my experience. You can see it in my words, start at the beginning. It was all about me and my troubles. Somewhere along the road God transformed my heart and made it all about him. You may not even understand this from where you sit now, but he can and will bring you to this place as well, if you let him. This is a place of overwhelming peace and joy regardless of the storm. I hope I may be able to help guide you in some way, to encourage you, to be a resource. Let’s start by getting you on solid ground.

You have a decision to make. Will you choose to love (or continue to love) or will you not? This decision, I believe, is paramount to your future. Yes, the Bible says there are a few exceptions when divorce is acceptable, but Jesus had something to say about that. In Mark chapter 10 the Pharisees where testing Jesus and said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.” Jesus replied, “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote this law, but at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

Then we could refer to 1st Corinthians chapter 13 on how we are to love (a passage I cling to daily.) I recommend reading the whole chapter, but verse seven sums it up nicely. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. The choice is yours to make, but I think it’s pretty clear the path that God honors.

Dear friend I am presuming one thing first, that you know Jesus as your savior. If you do not, this is where you start. You must desire a relationship with him; make him the Lord of your life. After that, we are working to deepen our relationship with him and understand his truth. Many will claim to know his name; few will have him written on their hearts.

Now you must decide to commune with him. Spend time in his word, in prayer and in worship. This is an area that I am now painfully aware that I was lacking in for a long time. You have today, the past is the past and God tells us not to worry about tomorrow. Pick up your bible, it may seem silly at first, but pick it up daily. Perhaps even multiple times a day; make relationship with him your top concern over all else. If you are already familiar with the gospel accounts of Jesus I highly recommend you start with the book of James in the New Testament and keep working your way forward. If not start with Matthew, come to know your savior for who he is.

Next, stay in his will, follow his direction; stay pure. When you are in darkness, you can not also be in the light at the same time. If you are struggling to draw close to him, ask yourself where you are selfish in your life, where you willingly sin and continue to. Stop and turn from the sin, repent of it, ask for forgiveness. You will find further help on this subject in another entry of this blog as you read through it.

Find ways to keep your focus on him throughout your day. I find and listen to a lot of Christian music all day to be in constant worship and keep his message and truth close to my heart. I not only read the Bible, but I read several other books on marriage, separation, divorce, love and other subject that help me to understand how God wants me to live. I will post my favorite reads at the bottom of this post for your reference.

Be careful and mindful of what you let into your heart through your eyes and ears. What you take in becomes you over time. For me that meant turning away from certain movies that I wanted to watch or some secular music that did not have a wholesome message. That may seem over the top to you now, but you will find this to be another truth directly from the Bible. You can choose your way with all of its self serving purposes or you can choose the way to an abundant life that Jesus laid out for us. You see, he ALWAYS has our best interest at heart. The Bible is not meant to weigh us down it brings about true freedom!

Pray, talk with God constantly. Tell him your thoughts, hurts, feelings, fears…cry out to him and ask of him what you need. He understands completely and wants healing for you to a level that you can’t even comprehend at the moment. If you seek, you will find him. He loves you more than you can ever imagine. You are his precious creation. Let him repair you from what may seem to be a shattered life and make you whole again.

Finally, there will be many opinions and people who offer you advice. Most of them will be full of anger behind their words, full of revenge or judgement. If you choose love, you will stand alone at times. It is not a popular path, not even an accepted path by many I am sorry to say. So in the midst of your storm you will also face great adversity from the naysayers who may even have good intentions. You must persevere!

Rely on his strength to get you through and not your own. Listen to his voice and shut out those that would extinguish your hope. Seek out those who will support you whole heartedly in your cause. Do not give up and try to see the bigger picture! Live out 1st Corinthians 13 with everything in you and everything from the Lord! I hope the words that were written on this blog bring you encouragement and understanding.

My heart aches with you, yet I rejoice for what he has in store for you!
Jesus is very fond of you and so am I,
Brian

Favorite Christian Music Groups
Hillsong (lots and lots of Hillsong!)
Mercy Me
Casting Crowns
Chris Tomlin
(Most of the songs that speak to my heart are posted after a blog entry)

Non-fiction Books
Hope for the Separated – Dr. Gary Chapman (my favorite)
How to Save Your Marriage Alone – Ed Wheat (short read and VERY useful)
Yes, Your Marriage Can Be Saved – Joe & Michelle Williams
From Anger to Intimacy – Dr. Gary Smalley
I Do, Again – Cheryl & Jeff Scruggs (incredible true story)
The Love Dare – Kendrick
The Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman
Brave Hearts – Sharon Hersh

Fiction books with great spiritual messages
The Shack – WM. Paul Young (One of my favorites of all times, a MUST read)
The Ultimate Gift – Jim Stovall
The Ultimate Life – Jim Stovall
Showdown – Ted Dekker
The Saint- Ted Dekker

Movies
Joshua
Amazing Grace
End of the Spear