Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Pray for us - May 12,2009

Dear friends and family,
I write you today with a heavy heart. Some of you I haven't spoken to in a long time, but it is still important that I reach out to you because of your faith in Christ. You may not know of the trial my family is going through and I need your prayer support and God's intervention.Jessica is in a spiritually dark place right now and has decided to walk away from our marriage. She will still tell you to this day that we are best friends, we get along great and that we have each been great spouses to one another. However, she has fallen prey to a great lie. She says that she is not in love with me and wants to “go find love.”

As Christians we know that love is a choice followed by our actions which lead to the emotions, but she now believes that love chooses you instead. She has fallen into this emotional void of a romantic fantasy just as many men fall prey to the physical void and fantasy of pornography.She has agreed to go to counseling a few times for my benefit only. Today at 1pm is the last session she is willing to attend. The Christian counselor said he will be getting to the heart of the issue today and it will be hard for Jessica to hear.

Please pray that God's truth would pierce through to Jessica's heart. That she would not only understand and acknowledge the truth, but would be broken by it, moved to repentance. Pray today that her hardened heart would grow soft again and she would turn from her selfish desires and turn to the Lord and His love instead. Pray for a hedge of protection around us at this time that the evil one would loose his grip and influence over her. Pray for supernatural healing that only God can bring and that He would receive all the glory for it. Pray for our children, for God's peace and grace to surround them. Pray for wisdom and discernment for us and you as well as we look for opportunities to speak the truth in love, to demonstrate God's love to her and His Grace that she may feel comfortable to return to the fold. Pray what is on your heart.Please be very judicious with who you choose to share this with. I am concerned that if Jessica knows how many people are aware of this session and what is going on she will just run away even faster and with anger.

This is a spiritual battle we fight and we must not let the devil one use any of this for evil. Also please be mindful that Jessica is aware of her actions, the wrongdoing, and she still chooses to take this path. She knows that this is un-biblical. She knows this will hurt the kids and me. She knows this will be an enormous struggle financially. She knows all these things and yet she persists almost in solidarity. This tells me that pleading or reasoning with her logically will not gain any ground. The only one that will turn this around is God, Jessica's conviction of spiritual truth and a repentant heart.

I think II Timothy 3:1-7 pretty much sums up the troubles we face and please guard your heart Christian just as we teach our children, we too can stray from the Lord and everything that is good.

As the band Casting Crowns so aptly put it in song from Proverbs 4:20-27

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It’s a slow fade

Thank you all for the support. It is by God's grace and mercy that I survive each day. I have set aside my heart for Jessica for now and instead I fill it with praise and worship for the Lord and he brings me peace. Amen. Stay on your knees in prayer, never give up hope because our hope is in Him who can do all things. Continue to show the unconditional love of Christ, that NONE of us deserve. Please use discernment and extreme caution with whom and what you share with people. We are, after all, in a spiritual battle over evil. Please think carefully before you choose to write her directly and PLEASE wait until after today or so.
Make sure that the spirit is leading you in discernment of such things. We don't want to push her away, but to show her the love of Christ through us. She is scheduled to move into an apartment this Saturday and perhaps that is what it will take for her to be broken and fall on her knees to a loving God. There can not be peace and true happiness in a selfish heart. The path she is on will only lead to emptiness until she remembers that only God can fill that space. Remember that His ways are not our ways. If it is His will to remain in this valley for a time then let us pray for strength, patience and endurance.

Finally, we can use such trials to build our faith and character or allow them to tear us down. I choose to draw closer, I choose my marriage, I cling to my faith. What do you choose? We are either drawing closer or we are drifting away. There is no middle ground. Use this for good, as a wake up call perhaps. Spend more time with your spouse at the heart level. Pray together as if you do not have tomorrow. Be selfless with your time and talents. Praise the Lord with all your heart throughout the day and give Him thanks for everything, all the blessings and the trials. If you would do this, then He has already won a victory over what Satan would use for ill.

Be strong in Christ,
Brian

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